DESMOND

  ABABABABABA  /  BABABABABAB Things will change Wounds in to Scars. Scar’s in to Shields. Tears in to STRENGTH. Fear in to Courage. Envy in to Pursuit. Void in to Purpose. Pain in to Motive. Flaws in to Pride. Weakness into Powers. Loneliness in to Memories. Insecurities in to Dreams. Doubts in to Destiny. Chaos in to Peace. Sorrow in to Joy. Hate in to Love. Death in to Life.   Crater in to Lake. Storms in to winds. Tsunami in to Waves. Icebergs in to Waters. Waters in to Life. Magma in to Lava. Lava in to Land. Land in to the Living. Livings in to Earth. Earth in to Mass. Mass in to Gravity. Gravity in to Black hole. Black hole in to Big-Bang. Big-Bang in to the Universe. Universe in to the Multiverse. This change will infuse Ying with Yang. Shiv with Shakti. Kundalini with Nadi. Prana with Breath. Sattva with Tamas. Negative with positive. Demons with angels Angels with gods. All with one. one with all. ...

We are all born in this game, and birth is the beginning of game popularly known as the matrix. The rules and simple and this game is very interesting everyone has a limited amount of time, which is a span of roughly 100 years. this 100 years will be experienced by a certain medium which can be called as container, or the body. The player is not to be identified with his body. The player of this game is one who is controlling this body, that is the soul is the player. and this matrix is made for the player only. each player will get a body and a lifetime according to his abilities. For a player with previous 90 experience points will get a fully and nearly ideal body and maximum of the total allotted time. For a player with low previous experience, points will get weak or disabled body and limited time, so they don’t have to suffer much. The goal of each and every player is to increase their experience points, this point will be distributed based on the works o...

What’s in my mind? Is it a doubt? No its not a doubt. I think it is a way to force me, to make more efforts, so that I will be able to have belief in myself. Is it fear? No its not FEAR. I think it’s a strong energy that is directing me, either to avoid or to overcome things that can badly hurt my inner self, for ever. Is it anxiety? No, not anxiety, it’s just a projection of the mistakes of my past life, screaming at me to remember these mistakes. And not to repeat ever again. Is it depression? No, not at all. They are just signs that I have not being living my life by myself. Depression is a mouth that tells me to live my life by my standards not according to other people. Is it loneliness? I have a lot of friends. No this cannot be loneliness. It’s just another way to tell that something that is important, which is needed, is missing. Loneliness forces me to make efforts to have it. Is it panic? No its not panic its just an alarm, how horrible things might turn to if not take...

                           THAT ONE REASON 4 long years…….but besides the all crazy, happy memories all I could clearly remember that every time I was so much alien and was in constant fear. Well I am no rapist not a murderer either but all this time I felt like….with them. I always used to think, ”what was the fault in me????” yeah I thought I was guilty and I must be doing something wrong. I never blamed other…never instated I just took the responsibility of everything. Tried everything for 4 years to join my brotherhood but no matter what every time I felt like a outsider, an alien. But there was just one reason. I  tried so much to ignore this reason. It felt like it was just in my mind. Why???????? Maybe I was so much afraid of change. Maybe I still wanted to mingle with people ignoring the facts just to be happy. Maybe I didn’t wanted to lose faith in myself. maybe I didn't had that guts...

                                                       I AM SORRY I am sorry…….. I forced you to choose a different path I was so much worried for your FUTURE I am sorry……. I made you introvert                                                 I wanted to make sure that nothing hurts you. I am sorry….. I made you anti-social I didn’t wanted you to lose confidence in yourself because of stupid people I am sorry……. I never allowed you to face the reality I was so much afraid that you could not bear it I am sorry……I filled your mind with dreams I just wanted to make sure that your life...