A letter to God.

Dear god,

Thanks for this life.
Thanks for my name.
Thanks for my identity.

Born I was, in arms of my mother.
Under wings of my father.
Raised up with abundant love.
In a happy place. In a happy home.

Time went by, and so did childhood.
Got introduced to this world

Away from home.
Away from my mother,
Away from my father.
In an alien ground,
Unaware of what the world really was.

I took Parental love for granted.
I expected others to love me the same.

I got cheated and hurt.
Abandoned and discarded.
Ignored and vulnerable.
Left out and wounded.
I lost faith in humanity.

Dear God, it was this time when I came to your door.
Surrendered myself to you.
I cried, begged, plead.
Kept knocking your door. To let me in.
Away from this misery, away from this suffering.
U never to respond.
I visited your home, your temple.
Told you everything
Ur stone statue kept looking at me, with a smile.
A smile that doesn’t change.
No matter what i say.
No matter what I express.
you kept smiling.
and, I lost faith in you too.

I was all by myself.
No place to go, no home to stay.

Perhaps I did a grave mistake.
It was a mistake to trust you.
It was a mistake to trust people.
It was a mistake to trust anyone other than myself.

I don’t know if you exist or not, they say you do!
But never have I saw any signs of yours existence.
Never have I saw you helping anyone, for anything.
Save someone from dying, help someone get food.
People have helped themselves.

Every time I have fallen down,
I have lift myself up from the ground.
Never you came to save my soul.
I saved myself yes I did it all.

I watch sunsets and it reminds that every ending is different and beautiful in its own ways
I see the moon and the stars in night reminds me of something I have within me, that shines even in the darkness.
I see mountains, mighty and magnificent, it reminds of the courage I have inside me.
I see oceans, vast and limitless. and it reminds me of emotions I carry inside me.

Dear god i don’t know if u exist or not. But I exist for sure.
I have the essence of life and it is enough to keep me going.
Its time to step out and learn who really I am and who I choose to be.
if there is a power in inner spirit, I want to see how impactful it is.
its time to build myself again, take a leap of faith, and get going. .
and
In the end, If we meet on the other side,
I hope I will make you feel proud for giving me a life to live.

yours sincerely,
10/06/1995
19.9615° N, 79.2961° E